A letter to my blog

Dear "My blog",

You and I have known each other from quite a while now. You know me quite well I think. I have always been able to turn to you whenever I had any question that needed answering. We've been pretty close, for all I could say. I do realize it's been a while I have turned back to you and I am really sorry for that. But, my reason is fairly simple. I have been quite occupied with work. The whole day of meetings and issue-handling stuff left me with hardly or no energy to come back to you. And this medium of written communication that we share requires effort. I know that's a lame excuse, but that's what it is. Okay. I know, I know writing often de-stresses me, but after a hectic day, my brain used to give up and didn't want to look at the computer screen again.

Well, probably that is what I have been suffering for now. My dear blog, my most-trusted amigo, now is when I am going to break this out to you. So, here it goes...

For the past two months, I was experiencing severe blotches of head-ache. Initially, I thought it was because of not eating properly and on-time, because it used to come once in a blue moon. And as soon as I ate to my tummy's content, I suddenly felt better. Also, it could have been suffocation. Being in fresh air, close to mother nature always helped.

But with time, it stopped helping. Then I thought it could be probably because my eye-sight might have changed. I immediately went to see an eye-specialist. Yes, you heard it right!! I went to see a doctor. OUT-OF-MY-OWN-WILL. As much as the thought of going to a hospital and meeting a doctor freaked me out, the thought of getting rid of this head-ache became my motivation. After putting different types of heavy-weight specs on my face and making me read A-B-C in different orders, passing the gushes of wind at different air pressures through my eyes, and (as if that was not enough) taking the snaps of the inside of my eyes from different angles by being really rude to my eye-lids, she confirmed that my eye-sight has increased and that is what has been causing me the headache. I thanked God immediately for getting that terrible episode over (which left me shivering and helpless) and a week later, I had my new specs in my hand.

The world suddenly turned newer and brighter for me. The mere thought of any head-ache to approach now was left far back. I suddenly felt like a ninja who just defeated the most dangerous enemy it had ever faced. But, as the saying goes, NEVER underestimate the enemy. It returned back - with a full force.

So, now neither timely eating, walking in fresh air nor the new specs helped. All the arrows in my quiver were over. And then, suddenly, a realization dawned upon me. It could be something more, something severe. But, to confirm this, I had to do what I never ever wanted to do. GO TO A HOSPITAL - AGAIN..!! This was the time of making the ultimate decision. Whether to let the enemy win, or to do whatever it takes and win the battle. I closed my eyes, took a long breath and made the decision. I decided to go through all of it again - ONCE AND FOR ALL.

The doctor investigated me for a while and noted my heart-beats and pulse rates at different places during the third-degree torture, probably (for the lack of a lie-detector) to make sure that I was not lying. But, I am not a quitter. I came here with only one mindset. 'TO FIND OUT THE TRUTH ABOUT MY ENEMY. And for that, I will go through this and more.' And then he told me a bitter truth. He told me he indeed suspected something big and asked me to go through a radiology test.

That was even scarier. I was asked to put my head between two big (read: Giant) plate-like screens so that she could peek into my head. The thought that somebody could peek in my head, and if she comes to know what I was thinking about her, she could get angry and crush my head anytime between those two big (It's giant, remember?) plates made my nerves shiver. And then, was the moment of the ultimate truth. The doctor saw the results of the X-ray and the verdict was about to be out in a few heartbeats.

 The first thing I heard was (like in any hindi film):

Doc: Why didn't you come here before? Had you come earlier, we could have done something. 

While one me continued to shiver, the other me, the impatient one was saying "C'mon doc, just spill the beans!! After all, how bad it could be?? Haah!"

Doc: You HAVE sinusitis. It has still not reached the level of your nose, but it's almost there. I will try my best to control it by medicines, but if it increases, you will have to undergo surgery.

Me: So, what you are saying here is I DO NOT HAVE to undergo a surgery? 

The other me dancing in my head!!

Doc: NO, not for now! It has not turned chronic. But, I can see visible signs of sinusitis getting severe.

My caution antennae stood up.

Me: But, what is the cause of this?

Doc: It has been your prolonged exposure to your allergies.

Me: Which is?

Doc: Dust and smoke. And not to forget, your over-exposure to either PC, laptops or some other radio-emitting devices.

The other me: Thee do not insult my iPad, iPhone and Blackberry by completely ignoring them in this conversation!

The first me (To the other me): Will you please shut up?? We are trying to have a meaningful conversation here! 

The other me: Ok lady, as you wish! I was just trying to put across a word of caution. Thee never recognise the efforts and more importantly, my power of observation!! Huh! 

Doc (continues, grabbing my attention again): So, try to stay away from all these things as much as you can. As these can worsen the situation.

My world came to a halt. It was like everything ended for me. The sad scores started playing in the background. On the violin. Or a keyboard with violin selections. Or maybe, a violin for real!!
Now, the main motive of my life was to do everything I ever wanted to do - right here right now. Kya pata kal ho na ho?? :-(

I have been asked to stay away from TV, PC, Laptops or any radio devices for that matter, and any place that has a lot of dust around, because these are the things that are causing allergy to me. But, adhering to this would mean I die long before death.

So, here my friend, is my true story. The more I am asked to stay away from you, the more I realize my attachment to you. That is true friendship. No matter for how much time you stay away from each other, the day you meet, it's like you were never away. I put my life on stake for you, my friend. We will survive the tests of time and sail through this. To our friendship!!

[I am sure it applies to human relationships too, but here I meant my blog.]

With love,

Komal