Who am I? - The bigger question of life

All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer.

When a child is born, his brain is like an empty book. He starts filling the book based on what he sees around himself. He develops his personality based on the words in that book. As kids, everybody asks us: "What do you want to be when you grow up?". We all have our own answers. But, as we grow up, very few of us are able to be what we really wanted to be. Why, when as a child what seems possible, starts becoming a little more impossible every time, as we start growing up? As a child, I put a cloth on my shoulders, and I became the superman. Then, why becoming superman became impossible as I grew up? Probably, because my definition of superman has changed. Who changed it? The circumstances? The people around me. The people around me gave me their own definition of superman and the picture I had of superman in my mind altered and altered and altered - and suddenly, it was somebody I did not recognize. I became somebody I did not recognize.

There is a saying that "A tree that does not bend often breaks during storm". No matter how flexible the tree is, it still remains a tree. I was always told that we should be like water, that can fit in any container it is put in. No matter in which container it is put, water does not lose its identity. It is still what it is - water.

It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I AM NOBODY BUT MYSELF! I have defined myself and nobody else will ever do it for me now. I have my own picture of myself - the superman.

~PeAcE oUt~